Filmmaking 101

I have exciting news. Last week, I began a course "Introduction to Filmmaking". Why is this so exciting you ask? For the past year, I have tried to gain experience behind the camera. The problem is I have a full time job. This deters me from gaining experience on actual film shoots. At one time, I was working with a production company to shoot my script "Straight Face". I volunteered to assist them on another film shoot. I indicated I willing to do whatever was necessary. I was just eager to gain some experience on the set. Well, to my dismay they reneged. In fact, I didn't receive any response from them until the Monday after the scheduled shoot on Saturday. Needless to say, this kind of tarnished our relationship. I also realized that I needed to gain experience behind the camera even if that meant going to film school. Well, that's exactly what I did. I'm currently taking a summer course at the School of Visual Arts. When the class is completed I will have shot, directed and edited a short film. That's exciting stuff huh?

My first class was last Monday - June 7th. I was so nervous. I waited until the last minute to register. Then found myself to be a bundles of nerves. I couldn't find the classroom. I finally found someone to point me in the right direction. I was the first to arrive at a locked door that appeared to be a closet. A staff member unlocked the door to room that had a large black curtain and tiny desks w/ chairs attached. I chose a seat near the front. I thought my head was going to explode from excitement. I tried to calm myself. My palms were actually sweaty. I decided to jot a couple of notes in my iphone. This is what I wrote: My head is swelling, I think I'm getting dizzy. What if I hyperventilate? I think I'm going to pass out from sheer excitement. I bet that will be a great way to make a first impression.

Well, I managed to survive the first class. Yes, I'm the oldest. (Next to the instructor) But it's okay. We went over the syllabus. Everyone was asked to explain why they were taking the class. Once again, I cannot introduce myself without discussing my children. I explained that I'm a former stage mom. In my attempt to develop my interest in film, I co-wrote a short film with my daughter. I later realized that I was explaining more about my daughter's stage history than about myself. (I hope that does mean she is more interesting than I am?) Anyway, all of the students were introduced to our cameras - bolex. We viewed several films from former students. The instructor, Frank appears to be very supportive. There is no such thing as a dumb answer with him. This is greatly appreciated. I can do extremely well in this type of learning environment.

Tomorrow, we will learn lighting techniques. I think this will be really intriguing. I love the idea of exploring different aspects of cinematography. I'm eager but I'm smart enough to realize that I need learn the basics - Filmmaking 101. I'm taking baby steps - one step at a time. I plan to absorb as much information as possible.

The Prospect of Spring Brings Change

The New York/New Jersey area has been hit with massive snow fall over the last few weeks. I have to admit I’m getting cabin fever. I knew I was in trouble when I wanted to go outside and make a snowman all by my lonesome. My mind began to drift off to the idea of warmer weather. The anticipation of Spring brings a renewed spirit and energy.

I had the distinct pleasure of attending a workshop on funding your film at the invitation o f the New York Chapter of Women in Television and Film. It was well a sold out event. Whenever I attend a filmmaking event, I become acutely aware of the age group of my fellow filmmakers. It’s disheartening to say the least. My counterparts are the same age as my oldest children. This coupled with their formal education in the film industry makes me vexed. Many of my friends and staunch supporters say things like, “that doesn’t matter” or “you should be proud”. They are sorely missing the point. I’m a natural overachiever. I’m supposed to be on top of my game. Not someone’s mother that is out of her league.

I’ve decided to go back to school and study directing, acting and producing. I’ve found that I’m encountering too many unknowns when it comes to the film production process. I researched the opportunities available for adult –learners. I’m not giving up my day job to attend film school. My first choice was to attend Columbia University. It is conveniently located in upper Manhattan. It’s a hop skip and a jump from my home in Teaneck. I looked at the cost of tuition and started to cry (in my heart). My second choice was New York University. It ‘s s not conveniently located but the film studies program is world-renowned. I checked out the rate of tuition and began to have heart palpitations. I had to reach for my daily dose of aspirin and regain my composure. I did a google search for New York City film schools. I found the New York Film Academy. It was not my first choice but it appears to be perfect. I can walk to the school from my office. It advertises a 12-week hands on training in the evenings. Most importantly, the price is doable.

The prospect of formal training will make me a contender to be on my “A” game. Isn’t spring when caterpillars complete the metamorphosis into butterflies? Well, I can’t wait to spread my wings and fly.

Guided by My Spirit

Lately, it's been really difficult to get my body to cooperate with my schedule. I know I'm a little overweight but this is ridiculous. I didn't gain 50 pounds overnight. It's a struggle just to keep up with the most mundane tasks. For example, I can see my commuter bus approaching and refuse to trot a few feet across the street to catch it. I can't shop for groceries in the supermarket for a long period of time because I get tired and overheated. Now, this seems like an opportune time to delegate this to someone else. I have a husband, 4 children (2 of which are adults) and a dog. Someone needs to shop. The real question is "what is happening?" It's seems as though all of my energy has been drained from me. In addition, I've noticed that my memory is going haywire. For example, I can look at my number #1 son and call him the name of my number #2 son. You may think this is a small problem but you probably haven't met my sons either. The men in my life are extremely competitive for my attention.

I've recently changed physicians. My former doctor seemed more eager for my co-payment than assessing a health condition. Good riddance. My new physician is like a knight in shining armor. He immediately declared that I'm way to young to have suffered a stroke. He strongly believes there is something else affecting my health. A technician fill 5 tubes of blood to test for any autoimmune diseases. Examples of autoimmune diseases included Lyme, Lupus etc. Dr. P. demonstrated professionalism and a genuine sincerity. Bear in mind, this is the man that dashed my hope of attending Sundance this year. . I was inquiring about my distorted equalebrium and my high blood pressure. He proclaimed "you can't fly". I was stunned. I thought I heard wrong. I remember muttering, but I'm scheduled to attend the Sundance Festival in Utah. He said, well there is always next year. I should have fainted on the spot, but I decided to keep a stiff upper lip in his office. I took his advice and cancelled my reservations (two weeks later). I realized that Park City, Utah is too far from my home to have another episode. Bear in mind, I planned to travel with my two daughters, Jarena, 15 years old and Vilena who is 8 years old. As a consolation, I plan to have a short film that will be featured (or at least submitted) in Sundance 2011.

I recently saw a television program in which there was an older man talking to his CEO that was working undercover as a trainee. The older man was a tower of strength and wisdom. While speaking during a lunch break the older man disclosed to the trainee that he is on dialysis 3 times a week. The undercover CEO (trainee) was surprised because he marveled at his appearance of perfect health and physical strength. The undercover CEO inquired where did he get his strength to continue. The man told him that he is "guided by his spirit". He proclaimed that if he waited for his body, his work would never get completed. I've decided this is going to be my new mantra "Guided By My Spirit".

Sidelined with a Time Out

I suffered a mild stroke on December 8, 2009. It was an eye-opening experience. My day progressed as it normal. I went to work and performed the usual tasks. That evening, I ventured to the supermarket to pick up a few items. I was accompanied by my oldest son Arthur Jr. I usual relish in the opportunity to have him accompany me to the supermarket. He drives and we get to share tidbits about our day. We talk about his hopes and dreams for the future. On this particular evening, I felt as though I was drooling from the left side of my mouth. I found myself talking and wiping my mouth. This was unbeknownst to him. By the end of our short trip, I felt exhausted. My body began to feel weak on the left side. This was especially true for my arm and leg. I didn't mention anything to him about my discomfort. I arrived home and explained the situation to my husband and daughter. My daughter, Jarena - 15 yrs. said I looked as though I was in pain. She strongly suggested that we venture to the hospital. My husband chimed in and agreed that we should go to the hospital. Holy Name Hospital is about 3 blocks from my house. I was seen immediately. After a few preliminary tests I was admitted.

My mother passed away at the age of 53. She had high blood pressure. Both of my sisters suffer from hypertension as well. I am well aware of the health risks associated with Hypertension in the African American Community. I explained the to Cardiologists on staff as well as the Neurologist. I know all of my numbers. I am very conscious of my blood pressure, my weight, my diet and level of exercise. I was prescribed a medication that side effects outweighed the benefits. Whenever I took my medication I suffered from anxiety while driving, heart palpitations, equalibrium issues, etc. I stopped taking the medication - Darvon. I began taking the medication again on Saturday - Dec.5th. I continued on Sunday - Dec. 6, Monday - Dec, 7th and Tuesday - December 8th, I was hospitalized with a minor stroke. What do you think it was?

I have recovered with a new quest for life. I am extremely appreciative for the caregivers and professionals at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, New Jersey. I was very fortunate to have a full recovery. The time I spent in the hospital and recovering at home was valuable. I used the opportunity to evaluate my life and the focus on my filmmaking goals.

I am a survivor of a minor stroke. I was sidelined with a time out. God knew what he/she was doing when my lights were dimmed for a fraction of a second. God also knew that I would marvel at an opportunity to make myself and the world a better place if given the chance to survive.

May Peace be With You

Writer Blocking & Splitting Hairs - There is a Cure in Sight

Many of my fellow writers complain of "writer's block". I have an issue that seems to be unique, "writer blocking". Writer blocking seems to be an uncommon phenomenon that I encounter at disproportionate number. Unfortunately for me, I don't even see it coming. It's like an ailment that sneaks up on you.

Writer blocking are the various things in my life that distract me from dedicating time to actually writing or any other filmmaking activity. It has always been my contention, in the past, that I should not have to find a quiet location away from home to write. I mean, why should I when, I can comfortably write in the privacy of my home. In theory, this should work right? In practice, this would never work in my house. As soon as I walk into the house, my mere presence creates chaos. The 70 lb. dog barks, my 7 yr. old needs my immediate attention for something (like an imaginary splinter embedded in her finger that is invisible to the naked eye), everyone asks what's for dinner or the total attention getter question, can you drive me and my friend to the mall? It doesn't help when my family members indicate that everything is quiet until I came home.

Yet, I continue to strive to become a better writer and filmmaker. Recently, I attended a workshop sponsored by New York Chapter of Women in Film & Television. It was absolutely wonderful. I had the opportunity to network with others in the film industry. Most of the women in attendance looked as though they "had it going on". I bet I'm not the only woman splitting hairs by managing a household, full time job, writing, producing and/or directing.

The good news is that I've discovered a cure for what ails me. I've made a decision to do my personal best as a filmmaker. With that in mind, I will dedicate two days per week to writing or perfecting my craft. This will include workshops, meeting with the production company, or anything that will enhance my skills. I will no longer explain to my spouse, I'm going to write (or whatever the case may be) but I will be home in time to make dinner, feed the dog, etc., etc. I'm choosing to stop splitting hairs. In other words, I will organize my time to include being a successful filmmaker that is also a happy mom.

Jumping Hurdles and Overcoming Obstacles

As soon as I set my sight on a goal, in this case filmmaking, I encounter enormous obstacles. It's not enough that I have to manage my time between 4 children, a husband, and a full time job. There are always additional hurdles to jump. Last week, was my endurance was tested with an obstacle course.

It started with high level officials at my current job felt that I deserved a promotion. Sounds good right? Everyone can use a little extra money in this economy. Here is the hurdle, I would be required to relocate over 80 miles north. Yes, that meant uproot part of my family. My oldest son put it best when he said "you can't break up the band". My husband is not interested in moving and my sons are adults. In other words, relocate with my youngest children or find a small apartment for myself. I would try to squeeze in parenting skills over the phone and on weekends. This proposition was given to me on September 21st. This obstacle, coupled with the fact that all of my filmmaking resources are located in NYC was dizzying. The interview was scheduled for Monday, September 28th.

Tuesday, September 22nd, I received an email message from Craig Williams of Redwall Productions indicating "we need to talk". Huh? Is my film being shelved before it's filmed. It's another hurdle.

Wednesday & Thursday, September 23 & 24th - I struggled with the issue of relocating. Everyone can use more money. Do I want to move? What about my girls? What about my script for "Straight Face"? Why does Craig want to meet? What the ????? My intuition says go with your heart? Does that make sense or is it too hormonal? I asked my closest friends for their opinion on this dilemma. I got sound advice but no one said, "go with your heart".

Friday, September 25th, I opened an email from the Independent Film School. I was under the impression it was from my favorite instructor, Ela Thier, the proprietor. No, instead it was from Craig Williams, my producer, indicating for the first time ever, he was collaborating with the Independent Film School on a series of new classes which start in October. I screamed when I read this email message. It didn't matter that I was on New Jersey Transit and it was about 7:30 a.m. I desperately want to participate in anything that would enhance my skills in filmmaking. I know, I know, currently filmmaking does not pay any of my bills. Forget the promotion. Yes, I understand that if I did not accept the promotion there will be lots of management officials annoyed with me. I just want to stay in NYC with my boss that has a strong inclination to micromanage and harasses me. I just want to focus on filmmaking. It was precisely at that moment that I realized I could not handle another hurdle. (Hence, the scream) I immediately closed the email message and put away my iphone. Another hurdle was now set in obstacle course.

Here are the results of the race:

Monday, Sept. 28th - I went to the interview for the promotion. I think it went extremely well.

(I've overcome the first hurdle but I'm just warming up)

Tuesday, Sept. 29th - I did not return to work due to back spasms. (Do you think it was stress-related? I was obviously side-lined)

Wednesday, Sept. 30th - I returned to work and issued an email to the executive, the powers that be, as well as the interview panel members stating that I am removing myself from consideration for the promotion. (Whew, that was the biggest hurdle to overcome.)

Thursday, Oct. 1st (day)- My 2nd level supervisor (my the boss of my boss) came by my desk to indicate the "powers that be" were extremely disappointed with my decision. I smiled. I told him I fully understand but I needed to stay close to my family. (I saw that hurdle coming)

(evening) My daughter & I met with Craig, our producer. He loves the script but it needs more work. (I made it over another hurdle. I can see the finish line in the horizon.)

Friday, Oct. 2nd - I decided to enroll in the "Directing the Camera" class with the Independent Film School. I've also made arrangements to attend the Sundance Festival in January. (That was the final hurdle. I crossed the finish line and I'm exhilarated with the results.)

There is a saying "the road to success is filled with obstacles". If this is true, then I will be a phenominal success. I passed the test for endurance with flying colors. Interestingly enough, I actually feel like a better person as a result.

A Catalyst For Change

I was always considered a "Betty-Crocker Mom" amongst my friends. Now mind you, I have a full time job but on any given weekend, I would attend little league tournaments, take a child to theater rehearsal or bake cakes. For example, every Easter I would create marvelous easter bunny cakes (at least two), have big plans to paint eggs then host easter eggs hunts. I throughly enjoy my family. My four children are 5 years apart in age with the exception being my youngest who is 7 years younger than her sister. Someone once mentioned that as soon as my youngest started kindergarten I had another. Who cares, I am extremely pleased with my children (two sons and two daughters) currently ranging in age from 24 years to 7 years old.

The catalyst for change began when my 7 year old daughter was invited to a play date. I was fine with the play date. I soon realized I felt a little lost. I had nothing to do. By the time I figured out what I could do with my free time, it was time for her return. (You've got to admit, that's a little pathetic.) I'm sure the handwriting was on the wall but this hit me like a ton of bricks. I came to the realization that all of my activities were centered around my children. Incidentally, all of my children still reside in our home. So you can absolutely understand why there is always room for my involvement in their lives.

I had to break this mode. I thought long and hard about an interest that would allow me to do something I enjoyed and expand on my creativity. Among my many hats, I am a NYC Stage Mom. I've taken my older daughter Jarena to theater rehearsal and voice lessons for many years. I often ventured to different forums and watched independent and foreign films while dutifully waiting for her rehearsal to end. It didn't take long for me to develop a penchant for film. As you can probably imagine, my being a woman of a certain age, I have lots of stories to tell. I soon realized this will be my outlet of choice. I know I can do this. This was the beginning of my metamorphosis to a filmmaker.